So my wife Caley comes back tomorrow...four days home alone without her. MAN, it gets quiet when your spouse isn't around. And instead of partying with Zack the producer at Hairball in Burnsville last night, I wimped out and got cracking on my basement cleaning project.

I had seen this story on Oprah of this woman who had hoarded so much stuff in her house she couldn't sit down anywhere including being able to sleep on her own bed! I'm not like that, but it wigged me out enough to go through EVERYTHING of mine in the basement.  It's tough to throw away some memories like old letters and radio tapes, but I actually felt like that lady on Oprah when I found a 17 year old bottle of beer!!!

Here's how it got there:

Outside of clothes, garage stuff, and some odds and ends I was trying to get all my personal things down to just 5 of those big plastic bins from Target. But there was so much stuff and it was taking forever! And while I was going through a dusty old box full of old love notes, pictures, and letters from old relationships including my first marriage...there it was! A full bottle of Leinenkugels!

Here's the story: For a brief moment I was married to a woman named Eleanor Mondale. Her dad was the vice president. Nice people her folks. Well, her mom had felt bad for me over the break-up and had sent me a C.A.R.E. package. Inside this box was a bottle of Leinenkugels (my favorite at the time) because I couldn't buy it out east or wherever I was doing radio at the time. And over the years the box with all the odds and ends in it - sat at the bottom of a bigger box that never got unpacked or dug through...until today. And in answer to your question...I thought about chilling it and then cracking it open, but common sense got the best of me. It sits in the trash pile with a museum full of memories. Sort of a garbage time capsule. Sigh.

That's the toughest thing about spring cleaning...it's not the physical, but the emotional work sometimes. It can be hard getting rid of items that remind you of your past. And after getting rid of a lot of it and getting the rest of it compressed into those 5 bins, I turned off the basement light and shut the door and reentered my current world...mission and goal accomplished.

Again, thanks so much for reading my blogs. I'm kind of new at this...Hey, a new week and tomorrow is the Twins Opener! Until next time, thanks for listening and I'll see you on the radio!

-G

Women are sensitive...(okay a lot of them anyway). I found this in my box (but comes from MSN.com I think)  the other day and Melissa agreed with EVERY one of them. And since Melissa seems to have a pretty good grasp of being a woman...Guys, write these down and then commit them to memory and then maybe you won't make the same mistakes like I have.      

Here are 10 things most women don't want to hear:

1) "What did you do to your hair?"
Unless we've cut our own hair-this is not common-someone else did something to our hair. It wasn't us. And most likely we've gone to a lot of trouble and expense for it. "I like your new haircut" is infinitely better, and shows you're paying attention.

2) "They both look the same to me."
 Give us something. Anything. Mentally roll the dice and pick one, so we don't worry about your vision-or worse, that you don't care.

3) "Relax."
When you say "Relax," what we hear is that you think that we're being irrational over nothing, and this makes us do anything but relax.

4) "I've got it all under control."
Ha! Famous last words. Refrain from using them if you don't want us to take fiendish delight in your getting lost because you won't stop for directions (if we're late, there will be fiendish fuming)

5) "You're not one of those feminists, are you?"
Feminist or not, a woman is likely to be offended by the question. Just be yourself. Be kind, open the door, offer to pay, and go from there. We can choose to accept or share in your generosity.

6) "When are you due?"
In one nanosecond, innocent-even considerate-curiosity can turn to deadly, if unintentional, offense. And there's just no way to recover from this one.

7) "You're being emotional."
In the heat of the moment this may be true. But unless you want your partner to become more emotional or get angry, you're better off keeping this observation and its off-limits follow-up question-"Is it that time of month?"-to yourself.

8) "You're acting just like your mother/my mother/my ex-girlfriend."
All three are problematic. An ex should be mentioned sparingly, and never in comparison. Why would we want to remind you of a person you broke up with? And come to mention it, why are you thinking about her?  Conjuring an image of our mother or your mother can be equally grating. We want you to treat us as individuals and not as mere products of your (or our) upbringing.

9) "You complete me."
While we may (or may not) like cheesy movie lines, they usually fail in real life. We understand that the possibility of romance makes inexplicable things come out of a man's mouth.

10) "Do you really think you should be eating that?"

Thanks for listening...have a great weekend...and I'll talk to you Monday on the radio!!!

So this is my first weekend ""batching" it since I got married in September. My wife Caley is out of town for a few days visiting her new niece...I mean "our" new niece and her side of the family in Charlotte. I would have gone but I have a couple of KS95 events this weekend. 77 degrees today and tomorrow in N.C. btw.

So do I have wild plans? Not really. I've already broken into the pizza rolls in the freezer, napped, and watched NCAA basketball on the tube...you see when the wife leaves - there's always big talk about having multiple "guys nights" out - but really all I want to do is do some spring cleaning and work out in the garage.

Well, at least I'm going to make Happy Hour a reality on Friday. Join me at Legends on East Hennipin Ave. after work from 5-7pm. Sample the new Miller Lite Brewers Collection and "taste text" to win some great prizes. Zack, our new morning show executive producer ( and a great guy!) will be there too. Being a single guy, he'll know how to have a real bachelor weekend and can tell me all about it on Monday.

Thanks for checking out my page, thanks for listening to the Greg and Melissa Show each morning and Talk To You On The Radio!

OK. I know. Golf is boring. However...if you ARE a golfer this is the most THRILLING time to play. And soon thousands of hibernating golfers are going to have to ask themselves some tough questions. Now, I never would advise walking out on potentially thin ice. It's a big no-no. So don't e-mail me about how I think you should throw caution to the wind and do it, however...

There comes a time during almost every early spring round when the golf courses of Minnesota open up and there has been an errant shot that has found its way ONTO the middle of a frozen water hazard. Cue dramatic music! DADADADUM! And the next question chills each golfer to his or her soul. "Do I go out there onto the lake to save a shot and try to play it?"

I don't know the answer to each of life's unanswerable questions, however I do know that for my friend Ted, he thought he could still take a motorized golf CART onto the ice in early April. I will let your imagination fill in the rest of that story. But I will say, bring on the warm weather...even it it means melting each of Minnesota's great water hazards!

Hi! Welcome back to the big Greg and Melissa show together again tomorrow. I can't believe last week I was hanging with Hagar in Cabo and this week I'm back from Spring Break getting up at 3am instead of going to bed at 3am!

I'm happy to be back tho...although much of Mexico is beautiful...there is a a heapload of trash along the roads...sort of like 35W in the Spring. The people are wonderful and helpful although I have a bad habit of still using Spanish words with everyone the first few days I'm back in Minnesota....i.e..."Welcome to the Eden Prarie McDonald's, may I take your order please?" ... ME: "Si senorita! Yo wanto a numero cinco grande sizmo por favor!"

"Ah, sure dude...please pull forward" ...

Thanks for reading my blog post and check out my profile and become one of my friends ( I want to be yours!) on my club page. Have a great Monday...talk to you on the radio!