When you are sad,
I will jump on the person who made you sad,
like a spider monkey
jacked up on Mountain Dew.

When you are blue,
I will try to dislodge
whatever is choking you.

When you smile,
I will know you are
plotting something
that I MUST be involved in.

When you're scared,
we will high tail it out of here!

When you are worried,
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse
it could be,
until you quit whining,
ya big baby!

When you are confused,
I will use little words.

When you are sick,
Stay away from me
until you are well again.
I don't want whatever have.

When you fall,
I'll pick you up
and dust you off...
After I laugh my butt off!

This is my oath..
I pledge it to the end.
"Why?" you may ask;
because your are my FRIEND.

Friendship is like peeing your pants,
everyone can see it,
but only YOU
can feel the true warmth!

For a bigger picture and the rest of the story that was in City Pages click this link below....and thanks for listening!

blogs.citypages.com/food/2009/09/dead_mo...

There are some words and phrases that we  are so over hearing that whenever one of us utters one, someone else says, "Can we retire that word yet?" So far we haven't been successful in coaxing any of the words into a condo in Boca Raton to live out their Golden Years in relative silence. But maybe if we all work together, we can limit their appearance in everyday speech. After the jump, words and phrases we're ready to see retire!

1. Staycation
2. Web 2.0 (Does anyone even know what this means anymore?)
3. "I just threw up a little in my mouth."
4. Getting anything "on," like "getting my drink on."
5. All text-inspired abbreviations like: OMG, TMI, WTF, LMAO, ZOMG
6. Recessionista
7. "That's what she said."
8. Beyotch
9. Date Night
10. Bromance
11. Hot mess

12. Adding the suffix -tastic to anything, like awesome-tastic
13. Vlogging (We're not even sure what this is ... but Llloyd's doing it on "Entourage.")
14. "That's hot!"
15. Metrosexual
16. "True dat!"
17. Hella
18. Girl Crush
19. Wuzzup (Seriously, this word should be past retirement and already resting peacefully in the grave!)